When we got the news of what this month would look like, I won’t lie to you; I wasn’t stoked.
In my head, there is an efficient and effective way to do ministry and the concept of ATL just was not it for me. What is ATL? It stands for “Ask the Lord” which is a term used by The World Race to push us out into complete and utter dependence on God.
Yep, you guessed it- no ministry host, no housing, no food plan, no schedule. We are to be dropped off at the airport in Panama and then we are on our own (with God, of course). You can see my hesitation, no? My mind couldn’t comprehend not having a plan to serve alongside a long-term mission, church, or organization and being left to our own devices to share the gospel.
Call it very American of me, but my mind works on loops of efficiency and time management.
So, as I sat and complained internally for this month’s failure to meet an expectation I had unknowingly set for ministry- that it would be provided for me; I came across James 4:13-17 and it just about hit me upside the head. It reads:
“Now listen, you who say, ‘Today or tomorrow we will go to this or that city, spend a year there, carry on business and make money.’ Why, you do not even know what will happen tomorrow. What is your life? You are a mist that appears for a little while and then vanishes. Instead, you ought to say, ‘If it is the Lord’s will, we will live and do this or that.’ As it is, you boast in your arrogant schemes. All such boasting is evil. If anyone, then, knows the good they ought to do and doesn’t do it, it is sin for them.”
If it is the Lord’s will…
Suddenly, I realized that in all my complaining, I had not sat in prayer for what the Lord wanted to use this month for. Humbled and a bit embarrassed before the Lord, I prayed. Prayed for wisdom, provision, peace, unity amongst my team, and guidance.
And did God deliver.
Their names are Rose and David.
Here is how it happened:
Three weeks prior to knowing ANYTHING about our month in Panama, I met a lady and her husband while on FaceTime with my mother who happened to be her golfing buddies. Rose, the lady, happened to be from Panama and was elated that I was going to serve in her home country. Having a fun call and sweet connection, I left the phone call thinking nothing of it.
Fast forward to a week before heading out to Panama, we get news from Rose and David that they have a house in the city of David, Panama and would LOVE for us to stay in the house RENT-FREE. On top of that, they are providing us with transportation for the month and have informed their neighboring community that we are coming so that we will have friends when we arrive.
Not only was this an incredible kindness from Rose and David, who were a literal God send- but truly a provision of the Lord due to the fact that our lodging budget hardly affords us the comforts of a decent hostel. (I know the budget well because I am the treasurer and have to keep the books and housing was an especially grueling task to find).
In the abundance of lack, the Lord so clearly showed his provision to us in ways that continue to strengthen our faith. And while I do still believe there is an effective and wise way to do ministry, that is never void of dependence on the goodness and provisions of God.
So, what started out as a month that I had dread is now the month that I am most looking forward to because while dependence is hard, it is what we have been designed for.
Continue to pray for my team as we travel to David, Panama. Pray for protection, guidance, endurance, and for the Lord to direct us where he wants us to serve. Praise God for the ways he has already provided and excited to tell everyone of what he brings our way!
