Seven. A number that is used to symbolize fullness or completion throughout the bible. Also the number of months we have been on the mission field. Seven months of travel, cultural foods, new friends, Spanish songs, FaceTimes with friends back home, blogs, same pieces of clothing, hard lessons, homesick nights, prayer, and memorable experiences with the Lord.
As I sit here and reflect upon my last seven months on the field, I search to understand what my fullness has been. While seeing a picture of God’s global church is an immense privilege, it doesn’t come without its moments of discouragement. There have been moments when the injustices and tragedies of the world seem too complex even for God. Obviously untrue, but where my human mind inevitably wanders off to.
A great theologian once wrote:
“Can you hate the world enough to change it, and yet love it enough to think it worth changing?” -G.K. Chesterton
As I have pondered on this quote while reflecting the lessons I have learned in the last 7 months; my disposition to both ends of this pendulum have been thoroughly exposed. How can one both hate and love a thing; and in that, work to change it against its own subversive rebellion?
My mind works rather like a pessimist when it comes to the things of God vs the things of this world. We have a world that is spitting in the face of God, tearing his Word to shreds, and reserving a specific kind of hatred for those who submit their lives to the teachings of the Bible. While these kinds of challenges have happened (plus worse) throughout history; I never thought in my lifetime and in a country built on the principles of the Bible, we would have such aversion to the God of creation. Who could love a world like this? Who would want to love this world?
Yet, God does still.
I will never comprehend the love of God. There is no way I could. But, I do have a small glimpse of the wickedness of the world. This makes verses such as John 3:16 unfathomable. And because it’s arguably the most known bible verse to exist, the gravity of its truth is sometimes overlooked.
“For God so loved the world that he gave his one and only Son, that whoever believes in him shall not perish but have eternal life.”
Yet verse 17 is where we see the love.
“For God did not send his Son into the world to condemn the world, but to save the world through him.”
I will never understand the depth of God’s love because I simply cannot fathom the chasm that sin has created. The workings of a Holy God are too great for my mind to comprehend, and quite frankly, I’m not sure I want to know just how much sin separates us from God. I’m not sure even I would agree with reconciliation if I knew.
But, God.
He knows the chasm and still sent Jesus. Not to punish, but to save. And no matter what you believe, I am sure no human mind can fathom sending your own child to pay the punishment of your enemy.
So, as I sit and reflect upon the last seven months; I am fully and completely aware that where tragedies and uncertainties may be present, a Holy God prevails therein. This life is not to understand the brokenness, but to seek our God who is not a stranger to suffering and believe that his promises are true even when it looks as though evil has won.
I pray for the Lord to help my heart live in a tension in both hating and loving the world, in order that we might be in the perfect position to change it for his glory. And as we step out of month seven into another month with new lessons, experiences, and thoughts about God- I am thankful that he is a patient and long suffering Father that takes time to reveal even a small fraction of his eternal plan with me.
